Will a health event make you talk more?
For the past decade, Dan struggled with cancer and "managed" it.
But after his last bout, he started to decline quickly.
He died later that year at 68.
His wife, Pam, was somewhat engaged in their finances and investing, including knowing he was buying gold and silver.
Their kids knew about his investing strategy, because he talked about his "economic philosophy" through the years.
Everyone thought of it as more of a hobby, so they never really stepped into his space.
Pam was now left to unravel Dan's concentrated stock portfolio and figure out how to liquidate the gold and silver.
She had talked to him many times about his illness and the importance of working together to build a portfolio she could manage when needed.
He would say, "We have time, and it's still fun for me." As it turned out, it wasn't fun for Pam in the end, or for her kids, who lived across the country and were now stressed for her.
They all wished they had pushed Dan more.
Unfortunately, Dan's situation isn't rare.
Data from The Generations Project® Transition Ready Family study found that experiencing a health event does not actually lead to greater transparency or more open dialogues with adult children around health or estate planning.
Also, more than one-third of parents who have had a health event have never had an open dialogue with their adult children about future health and care.
A life-changing health event should prompt you to think differently about involving your family.
Start a conversation The conversation: How can we change our thinking about family dialogue?
How to start: Our thinking about dialogue shapes how we feel about talking in the family.
Start by "thinking about your thinking" to expand what your family is willing to talk about.
Explore your thinking about dialogue: Ask your family about what involvement and transparency they need to have more peace of mind.
Dan's wife and children were frustrated that his long battle with cancer did not change his thinking about their involvement in his investing and planning.
He stuck to his views until the end.
His approach did not serve the family well and ultimately pushed everything on Pam.
Conversations about the impact of a health incident can be a door to clarity about roles, responsibilities, and wishes for the future.
Get started Fear is a major driver when it comes to health conversations.
Start by talking about your fears and then seek the wish behind those fears.
Senior generation Share your wishes and fears about your health and care planning.
Your children want to know, and talking about it will bring you closer.
Next generation Your parents have many fears about aging and health, so proceed with empathy as you share your own fears and wishes for how things will go.