What role do you play in executing on your parents' plans?
For Elizabeth and her two siblings, the sudden death of their 87-year-old mother was a mixed experience.
They just couldn't believe it when a staph infection put her in the ICU and she never came home.
"We assumed she would live to 100, she was doing so well," said Elizabeth.
And yet they were thankful for such a seamless end-of-life experience.
Together, they navigated everything from her health directives to the funeral plans, executing on the estate plan and selling the family home.
"It really helped that we all knew who had access to the different documents, accounts, and technology," recalled Elizabeth.
"We had all talked to Mom about her estate plan and our different roles." "I live close by, and so for about six or seven years after Dad died, I partnered with Mom on her finances, including being on her accounts and having financial power of attorney," Elizabeth continued.
"My sister always connected with Mom on a different level.
They had talked about health directives, and she was the medical power of attorney.
My brother wasn't as involved, but we all understood his situation." Proactive family conversations that clarify roles lay the foundation for navigating hard situations.
Reflecting on what made the arrangement work so well, Elizabeth described a few key points.
Staying in relationship while navigating stressful family situations takes an intentional commitment and effort.
Elizabeth and her family were successful, partly because they leaned in and didn't let the conversation go underground.
The Later-in-Life Conversations Study found that around age 70, conversations with the senior generation about things like decision-making, dependence, and thinking ahead to a health incident become less frequent.
Navigating end-of-life planning and transitions requires families to engage around both financial-functional and emotional-relational topics.
Get started Family members can align around a shared vision for what a successful multigenerational end-of-life process looks and feels like for everyone.
Senior generation Planning for end-of-life is a vulnerable experience, and it takes courage to involve others in helping you navigate your wishes and fears.
Next generation People resist talking about health and end-of-life topics ...
AND helping them talk in advance sets us up to successfully navigate in the moment.